Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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