Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
