Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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