My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
