Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
