a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
