I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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