I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
