What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
