On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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