we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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