you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
