Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
