Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
