I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
