Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
