i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
