No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The best revenge is premature balding
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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