Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
