he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize