i don't like sucking hair
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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