Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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