Having a random hookup so left but love u
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
