My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
