I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
