You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
