I look better un-naked...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
