go do what you do best...puke behind churches
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
