it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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