Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
