If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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