I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
