im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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