Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
