By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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