try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
