i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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