At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
