And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
