I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
