So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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