So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize