Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize