and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
