doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
