our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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