i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize