We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
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