I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
