I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
