I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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