So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
