Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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