Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
