Well douche your snatch and let's go!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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