im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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