i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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