He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
