he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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