Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
