the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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