It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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