I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
